"IT'S A JOKE -- the whole thing -- a parody of Solomonic governance. By the time all the various bills are combined, the health care will be a baby, not split in half, but in fourths and eights and fractions of eights."

So writes Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone. His is a massive and depressing story on the fate of health-care reform. Nobody comes out of it looking good. Reading it in sober print is far more powerful than all the clucking, screaming and grandstanding by TV's talking heads, right and left. This is a true American tragedy.

I have to agree with new Senator Michael Moore who calls his fellow democrats "weak, scared and stupid." And, I think if I were President Obama, I would just back off entirely and let the people of the United States lay the blame for no reform right at the door of the Republicans and the conservative blue dog Democrats.

And if you are one of those people who don't want the Obama plan, well, then you can just live or die without getting it. I am totally disgusted.

AFTER YOU read Taibbi, if you do, there is another Rolling Stone story to peruse, a bit melancholy, if not wrist-slitting. The cover story is by Mikal Gilmore -- "Why the Beatles Broke Up." Fascinating inside stuff on the Fab Four in their last gasp, but the tale does bring some small sense of fairness to the legend of Yoko Ono, blamed as she has always been as the "femme" who "fataled" the famous group.

Yes, the presence of Yoko, which John Lennon began to insist on, was irksome. They communicated in whispers, which didn't make the other three feel good. (And the couples' temporary descent into heroin use shocked Paul, George and Ringo, men not easily shocked.) Yoko insisted on speaking like so, in giving her un-asked for opinions -- "Beatles should do this" ... "Beatles should do that." McCartney would insist, "Actually it's THE Beatles, Luv!" But Yoko was not the deal-breaker. It was John Lennon's own dissatisfaction with -- everything. And then there was the presence of Allen Klein, hired by John as band manager. No one else wanted him. He was divisive in the extreme.

The Beatles finances were also in rather a mess. So cash flow problems soured all relationships. There were significant years of infighting and jealousy, especially between the giant egos, Lennon and McCartney.

The end result comes down to John Lennon. The author writes: "The Beatles could withstand whatever tensions Yoko Ono brought them. They might have endured Allen Klein. But the Beatles could not survive John Lennon. His anxiety was simply too vast."

So the Beatles broke up in 1969, never to re-unite.

Paul and John never recaptured their youthful friendship and their functional, collaborative competitiveness. But still, the great work lives on.

In a sidebar, Brian Hiatt reports on the spiffy, much-needed digital re-mastering of all 14 Beatles albums. The fresh-sounding classic discs hit the shelves on Sept. 9!

THE WRITER Dominick Dunne returned from a trip to Germany for stem cells, etc., but he has been in Roosevelt Hospital since getting back. He says he doesn't feel too spry but I notice he has been receiving movie stars and VIPs in his room. He was to be moved to his apartment last Friday. We wish him all the best and are glad to report that his sons, Alex and Griffin are with him 100 percent. Get well, Dominick!

I MISSED getting a hug around the neck from my pal Renee Zellweger on the night of her Paris Theater opening of "My One and Only." This wasn't avoidance, though maybe it was -- avoiding possibly being struck by lightning! I emerged, happy, from the screening and ran into thunder and lightning on 58th Street, plus moments later, a drenching windy rain that rendered umbrellas useless. It wreaked havoc with 150 beautiful old trees in Central Park. I went home like a drowned rat instead of to the after-party. I was afraid to show up there before Cindy Adams, et al, with wet stringy hair and sopping clothes.

But that didn't mean I didn't adore "My One and Only." Renee is a brave actress who always takes chances and here she took a chance on playing a slightly social beauty who is getting a little too old to compete, but nevertheless, is out to land a husband who'll take care of her and her two boys. (She is not always an edifying character, but she is very appealing and funny. This is definitely another Renee effort that should rate an Oscar nomination.)

In real-life, Renee's character was Ann Devereaux Hamilton who reigned with joy in Palm Beach late in life. One of her sons was none other than George Hamilton, movie star par excellence. I love George, one of Hollywood's all-time real gentlemen, suntan and all. And that he finally got this movie made and won his star on the Walk of Fame in the same time frame is fitting! Don't dare to miss this adorable movie.

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)