Mommy Minute Blog

• Mommy Guilt Is Everywhere

  In the past month or so, my 2 1/2 year old has become quite a chatterbox. I love that he's able to express himself, and I'm still astounded every time he speaks in complete sentences. But there is one new sentence that stabs me straight in the heart. "Mommy, don't go to work." That came for the first time two Sundays ago, after we'd spent the morning together as a family. Before we knew it, the morning was gone. "It's mommy guilt," one of my friends told me. "There's no end to it." Three out of four women with children are in the workforce, according the U.S. Department of Labor. I would venture to say, most of them know this feeling well. My friend Colleen does. She's a mother of two, and a recent post on the social networking site Facebook mirrored my pain: "Stew didn't want to go to school and kept throwing himself on the floor yelling, 'I miss my mommy.' Nothing like being heartbroken on a Monday morning." "You have to remember they aren't coming up with these feelings on their own," cautions JCC Early Childhood Center's co-director Pam Powell. "So you have to ask yourself, where is it coming from? Kids take your emotions and make them their own." Powell suggests parents try to be more matter-of-fact about leaving, and less emotional. "Say something like, 'Mommy goes to work, but we still spend time together every day, and I love that time,' " Powell says. If you feel good about it, so will they, Powell promises. It's easier said than done. Most of us would rather spend the day playing with our kids than doing just about anything else. But I'm trying and the lesson seems to be sinking in. I couldn't believe my eyes last week when my son walked up to a little girl in his daycare class who was crying for her mommy. He patted her back and told her what I always tell him, "Don't worry, Mommy's coming back soon."

• Shopping With Kids Calls For Vigilance

  Soon we'll be forced to brave the crowded malls to begin our holiday shopping. And in a crowded store, kids can get into trouble. One second your little one is beside you; the next — he's gone, and you can't find him anywhere. This just happened to my friend Julie at JC Penney. She's a mother of...

• Getting Kids Vaccinated Like Winning the Lottery

  BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. A busy signal. Again. I had been calling our pediatrician's office for hours. I wanted to make an appointment for my son to get the H1N1 vaccine. My husband and I did a lot of research, investigating the pros and cons. We wanted to be first in line. Apparently, a lot of other parents had the same idea; I could not get through. Hours passed. Eventually we stopped trying, and my husband went to their office. That turned out to be a good decision. Our pediatrician's practice received just 100 vaccines for the entire practice. Our son got on the list because he's two. Kids between the ages of 6 months and 4 are a priority.The nation-wide vaccine shortage means everyone else has to wait. Because he's healthy, my son's a good candidate for the nasal spray. It uses a live, weakened strain of H1N1 that is free of thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative that makes some parents nervous. When my husband called me with the news, I felt like we'd won the lottery! Our son was getting vaccinated! We prepared. We read a book about going to the doctor. We practiced breathing in the spray through our noses. It worked. He did great. Then I asked about the booster. The Centers for Disease Control recommends toddlers get a second dose four weeks later. I learned a second vaccine wasn't likely; there just wasn't enough to go around. I started to worry. Would it still work? "Even without the booster," says Middletown-based pediatrician Cliff O'Callahan, "the vaccine should be effective. Some people only need one dose to produce antibodies. We recommend another because some may not react the first time and will react better the second time." The worry dissipated, a little. H1N1 is here. Some of us will be exposed, get sick and fight the flu like any other virus. Most will be fine. But still, it's scary, and parents have a lot of questions. That's why we keep the phone lines busy.

• Forget the Ghosts and Goblins this Halloween. Beware the Candy!

  Halloween is right around the corner and I’m excited. This is the first year my little guy understands what’s happening. He can’t wait to be a football player... and has been walking around shouting “Touchdown!” for week. Then, there’s all that candy. Forget the ghosts and goblins, the scariest part of Halloween? Tooth decay. As a kid, I hoarded my candy, trying to make it last as long as I could— mostly because I wanted it to outlast my siblings’ stash. When you’re 12, a Twix tastes better if someone else wants it. I know a lot of parents who—for different reasons— do this every Halloween. They dole out the candy piece by piece, day by day, so their children don’t have all that sugar in one sitting. Turns out, that’s the worst thing to do for your child’s teeth. “It’s better to eat a lot of candy at one sitting and be done with it, than to eat a little bit of candy every day,” says Dr. David Epstein, a pediatric dentist based in West Hartford. “Think about it, the sugar turns to acid—and that starts rotting the teeth. Frequency is a huge part of tooth decay. A kid who eats a huge bag of candy one night will have healthier teeth than the kid who eats a little candy every day.” “Halloween should be a one night holiday. Enjoy it. Have fun. Then it’s time to give the candy away.” I’d love my son to be one of those rare children who prefers a carrot to a candy bar. Given my own sweet tooth, it’s not likely. So I will do my best to teach him how to take care of his teeth, to floss and brush regularly. There’s more to Halloween than candy. If we parents remember that, maybe it’s not so scary after all.

• Minimizing A Child's Inevitable Pitfalls

  Being a parent means responding to all of life's little emergencies: the falls, the bumps, the bug bites. Part of our job is making sure the emergencies stay small. Recently, that took on new meaning for my sister-in-law, Lamar. She called last week after a big scare: Her 2-year-old daughter, Eliana, had a severe allergic reaction. It didn't seem severe at first: "Mommy, ant bite," Eliana said. They live north of Dallas, where fire ants are common. Lamar didn't think too much about it, until Eliana's face and hands started to swell. Lamar called her doctor. A nurse walked Lamar through what to do: two doses of Benadryl. If Eliana sounded hoarse, started drooling or vomiting, then it was time to call 911. Eliana did all three, and Lamar made the call. "I kept telling her, it's going to be OK," Lamar says. "I think I was telling myself that, too!" When the ambulance arrived, Eliana was doing better. But her body had sent her a message, says Dr. Cliff O'Callahan, a pediatrician based in Middletown. "A body-wide reaction indicates the next time might be more severe, and you have to prepare," he said. Worse-case scenario: The body could go into anaphylaxis, a life-threatening allergic reaction. This is often treated with epinephrine, or an EpiPen. Eliana will have to keep an EpiPen nearby; she will be allergy-tested to see if there are any other triggers. "Kids have to live life and have fun," O'Callahan says. "But with significant allergies, you have to modify life and prepare." We can't protect our kids from everything. They will fall learning to walk. Tears will fall, and bugs will bite. But knowledge is power, and it can save your child's life.

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